emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

went up north with lyndsey. hung out with lyndsey and her sister kelly and her friend trevor and his cousin matt, who, it turns out, is the only brother of katie, who is in a band with jacob who i met playing a gig with elliot without geoff, our usual drummer, who quit but now plays with thomas built the wall in which i also play with tom, who introduced me to chanda whose good friend jenna recruited me to play some shows and found a drummer, joe, who met geoff randomly at a guitar store where he worked with elliot and conned him into playing bass for awhile, which is the instrument linnea who is in katie's other band skirt, and who i've never met, plays in the alpha centauri with lance, who used to date robyn, who i lived with in italy, along with lyndsey.

and katie is "old friends" with annie, whose softball game i'm skipping tonight in order to open for skirt at the uptown.

i think my head might explode.

posted by renee 1:53 PM

Monday, July 21, 2008


i'm pretty much over that new haley bonar song they keep playing with the weird a-tonal thing at the end.

embracing moments of lovely, comfortable silence in good company: lakeside, backyard-water-feature-side, sink-side.

it's a struggle to tear myself away from rock band in order to go to real band practice. there's something screwed up about that.

the box kite is taking on a distinctly box-like shape. one more step and then flying time... woot woot!

checked out greg boyd's church. he kept saying something about 'reorientating' your life... it was distracting. bigsnob. church shopping is exhausting.

a super awesome girl is designing my birthday show poster & flier. put it on your calendar now: 080808. you'll be expected at 8:08. the nomad. (b-there/b-[])

**EDIT: in a distractionary exploration of the npr jobs which might fulfill my previously mentioned dreams, i came across the one for a new host for day to day. the first preferred qualification they list is "national name recognition." umm.... i'll get right on that....

posted by renee 10:14 AM

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

sometimes, when you think another man's trash might be your treasure, it turns out that it's just plain trash after all.

also: the pockets of women's pants are apparently not intended to actually hold items, but are for decoration only. i may take shortly to wearing a fanny pack, which is the appropriate size to house my only remaining form of id (passport), my single remaining plastic access to cash, keys and phone and wouldn't make my back sweaty while bike riding or have the irresistible cavernous insides of my whalebag, which inevitably also contains enough supplies to last for weeks in the wilderness to matter how much i try to be reasonable.

overall lesson of july: when going fast, hold on tightly to things which are important to you.

posted by renee 11:57 AM

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

my blog is depressing, which is completely unnecessary and a poor reflection on the typical summer euphoria where i've been basking as of late...

i wish minnesota could be like this 8 months out of the year, with 6 weeks of fall, 4 of glorious winter and a quick rainy spring to round out the requisite 365. it is completely terrifying to think of moving anywhere else however, so i might just want to get used to it. or get over all these roots i've put down and dream bigger than this little life. i'm slightly disappointed that i didn't turn out to be much of a nomad.

plotting out dream jobs in my mind: top of the list is some sort of empowered position at a foundation (thus working on getting in with the mcknight descendants?) where what i get to do is talk to people about their ideas and then give money to the best people with the best ideas. second is npr, duh. third is for sure syndicated columnist who gets put up somewhere really beautiful to provoke inspiration and gets paid to have experiences in life and write about them. bam. can you even imagine?

and i have so many incredible women in my life in one way or another that seem to be interested in helping. me=fortunate.

looking forward to my crazy tuesday schedule full of working, salsa lessons, softball super-fannery, and band practice.

posted by renee 9:47 AM

Sunday, July 13, 2008

chameleon mutation
as scenery whips past
daybreak fades to dusk too quickly
confidence flags
backdrops drop back and are replaced
before each adjustment becomes comfortable
dwelling in unending limbo
between selves
stifles and makes invisible what true color
lurks behind myriad costumes
the silence of not-existing
is common, frightening

and i newly fear the contextless void
where a void within may show itself to be the deepest truth of all

posted by renee 5:41 PM

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Opposite Day

non-serious item

i ran out of clean underwear last week and rather than do laundry, i just went and bought some new underwear.

i'm now out again and am seriously considering a second shopping trip in lieu of taking care of my overflowing hamper. i'm hoping this is just summer laziness and not an emerging trend.

serious item

always newly shocked at how marvelous and interesting human beings are. the new doors into the universe that have been opened to me over the past year have reinspired my excitement about how rich and meaningful each day can be when you're not spending them thinking too much about the past and the future. songs are pouring out about it.

i do notice, however, that i am unduly comforted by my own youth and the concurrent sense that my life has not yet begun in earnest, which keeps expectations reasonably low. my unwrinkled face in the mirror justifies things which i might otherwise find unsatisfactory. hopefully i can keep my feet grounded in the safety of the eternal and the immediate, and gray hairs won't draw me into the uncertainty of "the rest of my life." that really barely exists anyway.


and they just played that terrible "silver lining" song on the current again. stupid jenny lewis. what is she thinking? boring, lame, worthless record, i tell you.


every time i hear the first track from the new sigur ros, i get chills. music is pretty close to everything.

posted by renee 3:21 PM

Monday, July 07, 2008

another installment of "who looks like he's winning to you"


posted by renee 12:14 AM

Friday, July 04, 2008


happy independence day.

i'm driving off into the wilderness, and i may or may not listen to this on repeat.

posted by renee 8:48 AM

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

do you remember these?

turns out now they make them with blinking lights and music. i was slightly pleased that they hadn't been banned in the years since my childhood for being unsafe, but now that you can get insanely dizzy with bright lights flashing at you, i must admit i'm a little nervous about the neurological health of the children exposed to this toy.

you can just picture it - spinning spinning spinning, staring into the lights until blood vessels are standing out all across his forehead and neck and he's starting to drool... and then sending him to kindergarten so an underpaid twenty-something can try to teach him to read?

posted by renee 10:25 AM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!