emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

true story:
(sorry if you've heard this one already)

i was at rainbow foods at 11 on sunday morning, innocently purchasing some groceries with my roommate. cabbage, ginger, egg-roll wrappers, vegetable oil... and was in high spirits due to the impending deep-fried feast. apparently my festivity did not go unnoticed. on the way out the door, i got chased down by a middle-aged black woman in an employee apron. for a second i thought i was in trouble, but when she caught up with me, she thrust a little slip of paper with a phone number scribbled on it at me and huffed "my manager wanted me to give this to you."

"what?! who?!" i raised my eyebrows.
"didn't he talk to you?" she asked, arching her own.
"umm.... i have no idea who you're talking about"
at this point a young blonde guy with glasses cowered past us out the door and she pointed at him. "that guy."

understanding what was happening by now i cocked my head at her and posed a question.

"so... is he a man? or a little boy?"
she laughed and said that she didn't know.
we walked out the door to intercept him as he was running away and i, humiliatingly, asked him the same question.

"are you a little boy? or a man?"

i think he shuddered a little bit, and muttered, "a man..."

so i said "take that from her" pointing to the note in his employee's hand.

he did.

"hand it to me."

he did.

"now," i said, "maybe you're a man." and walked away with my bag of vegetables.

a couple of days later, and now i'm actually feeling kind of bad about being so cruel. but really.... hopefully that will teach him never to pull something like that again. it does not work. c'mon...... the frightening thing is that this is actually the SECOND time that type of thing has happened to me at the same rainbow. it is not safe out there in the grocery stores of midway. beware.

posted by renee 10:14 AM

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

there came a point about 25 minutes ago where i suddenly lost the ability to make good decisions. rather than continue attempting to function at work, which could only possibly result in the creation of more giant messes for myself to correct after i've slept this off, i plan to simply stare at my computer, the blinking light on my phone, and the piles of inspections on my desk alternately for the rest of the afternoon.

believe me, metro hra, i'm doing you a favor.

and this after my first phone call of the week, at 8:07 monday morning, made me cry.

i should have stayed home. or gotten a job where it's okay to make mistakes.

i am SOOOOOOO out of here.

40 more work days.... and counting

posted by renee 12:27 PM

Monday, June 18, 2007


A RETORT: music is a racetrack. math is the horse and the jockey's your heart. and yeah, maybe the horse is doing all the work, but without the jockey, he'd probably just be munching on grass in a field somewhere.

when you're trying to make music and you let the math do all the talking, it usually isn't any good. it's HARDER to do it the other way, because it makes you vulnerable, but it's a risk you have to take.

(unless you're in a cover band in which case i scoff in your general direction)

to geoff, the stalker: your diplomacy is admirable. most of the time people don't say what they think when someone's not playing well. but it's better for someone to cry on the way home one time if it makes him better in the end.... i'm mostly kidding, he probably won't cry.... well.... maybe he will.....

oh - so when things are going well, the drummer is the whip the jockey uses to get the horse going, not the other way around. or something. or maybe not.

clearly this has gone too far.

posted by renee 11:13 PM

to communicate requires extraordinary courage

newly hoping that i will not allow this to be beaten out of me by failure

also: i have a subconjunctival hemorrhage in my right eye. it looks hardcore.

CHEESECAKE UPDATE: tried again. new pan. success!

my friend caleb gave a whistling performance for free, outside, with the symphony. i am disappointed that i was unable to attend.

it irritates me unnecessarily when people misspell "disappointed" like this: "dissapointed." but i do not point it out because propensity to correct spelling is more legitimately irritating than the incorrect spelling itself.

posted by renee 11:19 AM

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

i just bought tickets for abby and me to see nickel creek and fiona apple at central park for my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

p.s. new slogan - Ticketmaster: What a Racket

posted by renee 12:25 PM

Monday, June 11, 2007

trying to book gigs for my band feels remarkably like applying to graduate school.

write something you only half heartedly believe that you think makes you sound good. copy and paste it into sixteen different formats, changing names and dates for each one, and tone when necessary. hit send. cross your fingers and wait.

and one wonders why the kitty cat klub thinks it's the fricking university of chicago. SNOBBY SNOBBY SNOBBY....

posted by renee 10:45 PM

this kid is why you get made fun of if you were homeschooled.

the funny thing is, i can see a lot of myself in him.

(except the national champion part)

yesterday kate asked me if i've ever been "cool"

no, not really.....

posted by renee 11:36 AM

Thursday, June 07, 2007

it's really amazing how quickly i can work when i'm running on coffee and m&m's. i've mastered the art of turning jittery fingers into lightingfast typing. this has prompted me to muse again about the percentage of the GDP that could be attributed to caffeine-derived productivity levels in america's workforce.

and how exactly would we quantify that? i don't know. i just like hearing scientific tidbits on npr, i'm not much for research methods. it should be someone else's job to figure that out, but i'm telling you, my hypothesis predicts that the removal of that certain chemical from our bodies would result in a catastrophic economic downturn pretty much overnight. it is not recommended from a policy standpoint. can you imagine!?! outlawing caffeine!!?!?!

oh, and speaking of scientific tidbits on npr, yesterday they did this piece about how ducks sleep. all in a row, right? you've seen it. but the fun thing is that the ducks in the middle of the row are really, fully sleeping. the duck on either end, however, is only allowing half its brain to sleep at a time. one eye (and one side of the brain) is awake and watching for danger!!!!!!!! cool!!!!!!!!

umm..... i'm pretty sure it's time for dinner now.

posted by renee 6:28 PM

Tuesday, June 05, 2007

five seconds of political commentary.....

of all the people to pick to give a character reference, why on earth would you choose the other guy everyone thinks is a scumbag?

also, does anyone else have the itching sensation that all the people in this story sound like fictional characters? what kind of name is "valerie plame" beside an imaginary one? and "scooter"!? are you kidding me?

and i really like that dick cheney declines to comment.

posted by renee 1:44 PM


yesterday i left the office at 8 o clock with no messages on my voicemail
this morning i arrived at the office at 8 o clock to 8 messages on my voicemail

(not to mention that i was born 8/8/83)

but WHY would 8 people call me when they should be sleeping or eating breakfast?

posted by renee 8:20 AM

Monday, June 04, 2007

am i turning into a workaholic?

oh no.....

posted by renee 7:42 PM

Sunday, June 03, 2007


the cake which justified my slothful saturday was finally removed from the refrigerator after an agonizing two hour wait and then promptly flipped upsidedown on the kitchen floor due to the malfunction of my springform pan.

and i stood and looked at it for a minute.

a pile of silky apricot goodness, smeared across the rug, ruined.

and then started to laugh.

and laugh and laugh and laugh.

posted by renee 11:17 AM

Saturday, June 02, 2007

the cheesecake is cooling (not fast enough)
it has almond crust
apricot middle
and a white chocolate swirl on top

but the swirl part sunk in, making a winding valley all the way across

next time, i will try to make it lighter somehow
or put it on after the cake is baked, perhaps

either way, i have high hopes for its being delicious

other than that, i had a positively fabulous day full of nothing to do, during which i demonstrated fortitude and strength of will, which are my new goals, along with discipline, which was yet lacking.

but any day in which one produces a dessert to be eaten on a pretty plate in tiny slices accompanied by a glass of white wine could be considered nothing less than a success, discipline or no discipline, swirling valleys or no swirling valleys.

also, there was a thunderstorm.

posted by renee 9:14 PM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!