emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

little white flakes fell down from the sky all morning, more like dandruff than snow.

and i decided to wear sandles anyway.

but i had a banana and two eggs for breakfast, and i think that makes up for it.

i wrote a poem, but i don't think i'll post it here.

posted by renee 11:36 AM

Tuesday, April 26, 2005


pros: full time job with great salary and benefits which would open many doors for future employment in my field, established group of friends, musical outlet, church i love, comfort and stability, one beautiful fat grey cat

cons: getting used to being financially secure thereby limiting my future willingness to take risks, not that exciting anymore

New York City?

pros: abby and lisa?!?! excitement and adventure, the confidence built whenever one conquers a new city, meeting lots of new crazy people, i do not currently have any furniture or a car or loans or a lease or a job, great concerts (which i won't be able to afford to go to), a credential to my resume (if i can get a job), plus, it's just dang cool (did i mention Abby and Lisa?!)

cons: $$$$$, leaving behind stability and my church, leaving friends behind, losing the opportunity to work at a professional job right after college, far away from parents and friends who are all getting married (think lots of plane trips)


posted by renee 1:10 PM

Saturday, April 23, 2005

hello emotional breakdown. it's been awhile. no, no, it's not a bad time. please, come in. have a seat. stay for a bit. i'd love to entertain you. after all, it's been a long time since i've cried myself to sleep.

posted by renee 2:12 AM

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

i love this painting and wish it wasn't $300.

posted by renee 3:15 PM

it's all seeming pretty hazy today.
i am unconvinced.

posted by renee 2:36 PM

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

working on this study has exposed me to so many people who simply are not captured when you look at the spreadsheet full of numbers we accumulate. today i snooped onto a respondent's website and discovered that he is a musician. i listened to a bunch of mp3s - typical brooding acoustic guitar player, but still someone i think i would like if i knew him. it makes me want to send out a blank sheet of paper to all the yds respondents and just ask them to put whatever they want on it. words. pictures. now wouldn't that be cool.

posted by renee 7:52 PM

struggling to communicate.
today i am feeling.
free ice cream at ben & jerry's until 8 pm.
26 days until i graduate.
remember to rsvp for phi beta kappa dinner.
cliff's notes.
craig's list.
when i eat sugar, it feels like my teeth are going to fall out.
but i want a pop tart.
i want to live in uptown.
some days i like how i look and some days i don't.
i bet that's pretty true of everybody.
my professor told me today about how she used to have an eating disorder.
hospitalized four times in two years.
relapse after her dad died.
she almost cried talking about it.
i wonder if i can be her friend.
i really want that pop tart.
sometimes, when i'm just free-writing, i think that i shouldn't post it because it's not worth saying. boring, maybe. but today i don't care. it's what's in my head anyway.
i am so selfish.
i wonder if i'll get over that anytime soon.
i want a house with free laundry and hardwood floors.
close to a bus line.

posted by renee 6:20 PM

Sunday, April 17, 2005

what do you think is the number one thing people look for in the yellow pages? i bet it's pizza.

mmm. pizza.

28 days and counting.

posted by renee 10:27 PM

Thursday, April 14, 2005

please someone get me one of these before i start my real job. thanks dad!

posted by renee 4:17 PM

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

my abby came, made a splash, and is on her way again. it is remarkable how her existance, regardless of how intertwined it is or is not with my own, improves my opinion of the world at large. she makes it a better place to live. and we are so the same, but not enough to bore each other. just enough that there aren't so many things that need explanation.

and she thinks will smith is a sexy sexy man.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

posted by renee 4:05 PM

Monday, April 11, 2005

the drama in my life all seems quite insignificant when i think about jessie. i added her mom's blog to my list. please look at it every once in awhile and pray that God's will is accomplished.

posted by renee 2:41 PM

Saturday, April 09, 2005

i just presented my thesis to the department at the sociology research institute. this morning i was ruminating on possible questions faculty might pose and a part of me wanted ron anderson to be there and to ask in his decrepit old man sort of way if i decided to do this project because i have an eating disorder, this time in front of an entire room of people. sadly, he did not attend.

posted by renee 3:23 PM

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

then i realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him - for this is his lot. moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work - this is a gift of God. he seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.

-ecclesiastes 5:18-20

posted by renee 9:37 PM

i really want that job... the interview felt good. i think the interviewers liked me. at least i made them laugh a couple of times (and not by saying something idiotic, either). but the question is not whether they want to be my friend. the question is whether they really would shell out that much money to a some know-it-all kid off the street, spunky and charming or not. and that is a little harder to gauge.

so now, the task at hand is waiting.

and waiting.

posted by renee 3:28 PM

Monday, April 04, 2005

my life is too much for me right now. i have a job interview on wednesday. i think if they offer it to me, i will feel much better. also, if i revise my thesis i will feel much better. also, if we can pick a place to live, i will feel much better. but right now i don't feel very good at all.

posted by renee 3:34 PM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!