emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Thursday, May 29, 2008

hamster job (n.) -

type of arson in which a hamster is set on fire and let loose in the building to be destroyed in order to prevent detection of the cause. often associated with insurance fraud, sometimes in conjunction with city orders for the building to be demolished due to extreme structural deficiencies or otherwise hazardous conditions.

or, you could just plug in a giant home-made construction fan with an inadequate electrical cord for the draw of the device and accidentally leave it on over the weekend following begging for leniency from the city council late on a friday afternoon.

no one will be suspicious at all.

p.s. i love my job.

posted by renee 10:34 AM

Saturday, May 24, 2008

if i had dreamed that i could actually make a living doing music, i would have practiced a lot more, and it might actually have turned out to be possible. still considering taking cello lessons again, despite the fact that it's definitely too late for that. except i could be practicing on my own and i almost never do, so maybe i should force myself into that discipline before i find a teacher and buy myself a new bow.

mmm.... i really want a new bow.... and a looping pedal....


what i really need to do is just pick something and get over the fact that there is no possible way i can be as excellent at every hobby as i'd like. so much musicking and gourmet cheffery and yarny-weaveration and trying to read all these books that someone calls important and the never-ending quest for respectable upper body strength.

i cannot be zoe keating and mollie katzen and kelley petkun and margaret atwood and freaking keri shrug all at the same time. it might be time to acknowledge this.

also: summer's looking busy.

posted by renee 2:39 PM

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Favorite Tee Shirt of the Day

"The Bible talks about Saint Paul, but it doesn't mention Minneapolis"

in yellow on black, worn by an old hunchback man wearing a big backpack and headphones and clutching his discman nervously while scuttling down the skyway.

indeed, sir. indeed.

posted by renee 12:59 PM

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

today i worked three jobs, twelve hours
during which i spent no time at all in front of a computer

i would like more of that, please

also, facing an uncomfortable dilemma
where i was awarded something i did not earn
but righting the wrong involves pointing out the unethical behavior
of the person who basically did me a favor
with consequences following which involve me doing a bunch of work i'd rather not do anyway
which ultimately would not be examined closely enough to change the results
except, potentially, out of spite for my judgment

thus, contemplating the burning of bridges.

ALSO: working at the city council is great. REAL LIFE, you know? the crazy people and the angry people and the criminals showed up tonight. what seems to matter to the staff is work getting done and doing the right thing. and man-o-man that's refreshing.

tonight a slumlord made the following argument:
1.) the inspector said my porch was enclosed so he could cite me for lead paint.
2.) but then he cited me for two broken windows. that hardly sounds enclosed to me.
3.) so then i fixed the windows like he said.

and a tax-defrauder said to the cop who came and sat near him:
"tase me, bro"
the cop declined.

posted by renee 11:15 PM

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

I am afraid
The decay of idealism
Is inevitable

Accumulated disappointment
Weighs heavy
On lofty dreams, so
Toward something manageable
Is the only possible fate

So we stop dreaming of a world worth living in
And paint a picture instead
Of the little place we might carve out of it
Not considering the happiness of others
But only our right to escape
And forget

If this steady decline
Corresponds to our stockpiling
Our impenetrability

I dream for myself
An immaterial life

And for the earth
Just that each generation
With all of our more-and-more
Might keep its eyes open to the now oh so visible struggle
Of this aching planet
A little longer than the last

posted by renee 12:17 PM

Sunday, May 11, 2008

pedal to midway
in the stands chatting away
what's the score again?

talking too loudly
the old guys in front of us
think we're a riot

to the parking lot
for a mid-game beer. inside
they rob you sober

later friday
everyone here's white
especially the band, but
they play prince covers

you're from st thomas
and drive a mercedes benz.
i'm sure you earned it.

even later friday
a banana fight
like flirting adolescents
yellow mush, shrieking

blonde highlights, fake tan
a BA in marketing?
welcome to uptown

eight dollar french fries
and twelve dollar martinis
(ambiance markup)

pick up line: hey, babe
let's have five kids together.
showing commitment?

up in my bedroom
windows open, birdsong, breeze
too hard to focus

writing haiku in
stead of researching felon

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

posted by renee 10:53 AM

Friday, May 09, 2008

bracing myself for the IRB and beginning my hunt for funding for my masters thesis.

pretty freaking exciting, actually. i want to talk to 18 and 19 year olds living under their parents' section 8 voucher to find out what they think about their employment aspirations, educational goals and future housing careers. the fact that this makes me positively giddy should tell me something, perhaps, about what i should do for a living.

the other thing that makes me giddy is the prospect of bicycling to a minor-league baseball game where i plan to consume beer and cheese curds in the sunshine.

hooray for spring!

p.s. hopefully i will be inspired to write haiku, but not yet.

posted by renee 3:14 PM

Sunday, May 04, 2008

looking at motorcycles again, which is likely to become a spring ritual.

one ad on craigslist notes that XXL helmet, XXL jacket and XXXL chaps are included. the seller notes that he can no longer ride due to his knees....

and i think "your poor knees..."


also: i poked around in a bunch of old houses today in the dayton's bluff neighborhood of east saint paul. most of the area is a historic preservation district and there are dozens of incredible turn of the century homes, most of which are now deteriorating pretty badly. i just love coming around the awkward corners and finding a staircase to an attic, a pristine built-in armoire surrounded by peeling paint, or a whole room that my general sense of space wouldn't have realized should be there. i can't imagine ever buying a house built after 1925. and i wish that the '80s had never happened - really ugly black and pink carpet should never cover up pine floors.

can't figure out when i got so obsessed with houses, or why...

theoretically, after graduation, i should start saving up for a downpayment for a house. but i really do want that motorcycle....

posted by renee 4:40 PM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!