emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Thursday, December 28, 2006

this is post number nine hundred and ninety nine.

i am going to get my hair cut today (hopefully)
and submit my grad school applications (finally)

there is something important to say about how families work but i can't quite put it into words. i spent christmas observing it happen and also looking out a giant picture window at a beautiful valley and the mountains on the opposite side, all imposing and eternal looking.

but we know that nothing we can see or touch now is quite as eternal as it often seems.


really, i don't know that we know much at all. but that's okay.

posted by renee 10:28 AM

Friday, December 22, 2006

i am at work.

posted by renee 6:10 AM

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

all i want to do is go home and have roommate christmas.
something delicious is in the crock pot.
i can almost smell it from here.

scuttle scuttle scuttle
work work work

plus: i don't understand how treating sex as something sacred makes me less of a feminist. seriously.

posted by renee 3:59 PM

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

so he's not as old as i was afraid he might be, but he's still too old.

or i'm too young.

at caribou you can buy a coffee thermos as a christmas gift for a loved one.

it will only cost you $29.00. this price does not include any coffee.

does anyone feel like reading my personal statement for grad school? i will email it to you. c'mon... you know you wanna. and a question: can i say anything funny in it? probably not. graduate students are not allowed to have senses of humor

words like "ruminate" and "fester" have distinctly unpleasant primary meanings and the use of their second meanings is not recommended.

back to this:
weather deferral: defective paint in window troughs, clearance (dust wipe test) required
weather deferral: exterior concrete, trip hazard, gaps and rises exceeding one inch must be eliminated
weather deferral: peeling paint on foundation, remove all defective paint according to HUD's safe work practices

posted by renee 9:20 AM

Monday, December 18, 2006

the term "state of the art" doesn't have anything to do with states or art.

posted by renee 2:47 PM

Sunday, December 17, 2006

i wasn't nervous about the test yesterday
i wasn't nervous this morning when i woke up
or on the drive down to edina
or when i walked in the door of the exam room

but now that it's over

i think i might throw up

posted by renee 3:16 PM

Saturday, December 16, 2006

my eyes are about to fall out of their sockets, but after my practice runs thanks to y's helpful cd, i think i'm ready for the GRE.

if i get a 735 on the quantitative on the real test, i might pee my pants.

posted by renee 5:53 PM

Friday, December 15, 2006

and the christmas soiree was a success!

it's always so nice when you realize how many great people you know, and when you can put a bunch of them in the same room and they all talk to each other and have a good time without you having to do much at all.

plus, my roommates are pretty much the greatest people on earth.

posted by renee 8:48 AM

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

i make the most exceptions and accomodations for those who complain the loudest and the most often.

i hope that is not a sign that i will be a bad parent.


most times
i thrive on
the sights and sounds
bright lights and crowds
and giant black snow mounds
in parking lots
in the urban frigid north

but today
i wanted




where stars made smudgy by smog
are back to their pinpointy selves
where the moon makes a difference
and where
in your bedroom
in the middle of the night
you can't see your hand right in front of your face
and snow is white

and it is peaceful

posted by renee 11:01 AM

Sunday, December 10, 2006

my grocery store neuroses

1. i have a nervous twitch whenever i realize my groceries are about to be bagged by someone other than me. it's almost like a tourettes episode. in bag-boy training they should explain that if a customer buys a whole bunch of vegetables and organic granola, and then asks specifically for her items to be single bagged in paper, that she might want you to put more than three items in each bag.

twitch twitch twitch

2. the guy behind me bought four ripe cantaloupes and a 12 oz can of Full Throttle.


posted by renee 10:11 PM

Saturday, December 09, 2006

you better not mess with me. for real. my internet friends have GOT my BACK.

and a mean glass of egg nog, too.

and if you're the guy nobody likes online, and then a group of them have occasion to have a three dimensional conversation, well... they might just talk a little three dimensional smack and you might just deserve it.

posted by renee 11:36 PM

Wednesday, December 06, 2006


so i saw the aura man again and he likes me
but i think he's probably kind of old
and he said he wanted to take me to jamaica on our first date
and then, after the second time we hung out
he called to see if he passed "the friends test"

and he kind of knows michael jordan. and prince.

i just wanted to have a little fun. there was no friends test. there will be no jamaica. so now the awkward thing is how to get out of this with the fewest number of uncomfortable conversations about age and the expectations that come with going on international vacations with people to whom you are not married....

posted by renee 1:29 PM

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

this baby is on my desktop. and every time i come back to my computer and have to log in from my screensaver, he is there, looking so beautiful and peaceful.

and every time, i smile. seriously. babies.

posted by renee 3:46 PM

Sunday, December 03, 2006

i swear they make grad school applications really complicated on purpose to weed out the people who aren't determined enough to navigate the instructions.

but for real. could you just make ONE LIST of all the things you want me to send you so i could print out a copy and check them off as i go? if you're SO SMART that you can figure out if i'm smart enough to go to your school, you'd think it wouldn't be too much to expect some user-friendliness.

posted by renee 8:41 PM

Saturday, December 02, 2006

welcome to a day in my glamorous life...

where i go on a date with a handsome man i met out dancing and he says all the right things and finds me fascinating and i let him kiss me goodnight. then i walk to a party a few blocks away where i don't know the host but they offer me pretzels and play awesome music and every time i go around a corner i see someone else i know.

and dan olson's there and we talk about real things in the midst of this dancing and acting and oblivion. and then it's late and i drive home to regina spektor's singing, but i don't sing along because my voice is all scratchy. and then, in my beautiful house, past my beautiful christmas tree, i go into the basement where i'm cuddled by two fat, beautiful cats while writing this entry.

today was a really good day to be me.

but i'm glad i know the difference between happiness and joy.
and between having a good time and being truly loved by people.

because if i didn't, this might get addicting.

in the meantime, to you, and to the kitties,


posted by renee 2:32 AM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!