emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Monday, October 30, 2006

my political manifesto may be forthcoming. this is due in part to the number of times i have heard amy klobuchar brag about how she's obtained a legal wiretap. i neither care nor find this fact particularly relevant. and also to a car i saw the other day that had "jesusmn" as its license plate, an american flag fluttering from the antenna, and stickers smothering the rest of the vehicle that said "save 50% on your electric bill; find out how."

matt simmons is a fantastic human being.

i can swallow a tylenol with a drink of water like nothing at all. do you remember the first time you had to take a pill? it seemed giant, impossible.

i think it's okay to have hot tea BEFORE bed and AFTER brushing teeth. if this is unacceptable, i hope someone lets me know before i get cavities.

and: to my special someday someone:

you should see me in this dress. seriously. lucky you.

posted by renee 10:31 PM

Sunday, October 29, 2006

3rd wheel
5th wheel
7th wheel

home early

posted by renee 1:17 AM

Friday, October 27, 2006

run as fast as i can around lake como twice.


play a piano. i mean a REAL piano.


eat brownies. lots of brownies.


slop paint on a big canvas.

TRUTH: sometimes i do not return phone calls when people leave messages to ask how i'm doing because i don't really feel like talking about it. but sometimes it's just because i'm busy.

ADDENDUM TO YESTERDAY: 2 of the NINE things are now going at least slightly better.

posted by renee 4:04 PM

Thursday, October 26, 2006


it is okay when one thing is going wrong.

it is not okay when (hmm.. let's see... counting...)

NINE things are going wrong.

pressure pressure pressure

posted by renee 3:03 PM

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

i associate the smell of smoke with italy.

my dilbert desk calendar shows Tuesday, October 17 as the date. i guess that means work has been busy.

seriously, a visit to the town talk diner on friday night may have changed my life.

being white is confusing sometimes. i do not like to answer the question "what is your ethnicity?"

my back hurts every day. i think sometimes that the biggest advantage of being married for me would be frequent massages. (i cook you dinner, you rub my shoulders)

jordan raney is nice to talk to about politics. you get sharper when you talk to people who are a) different than you; b) reasonable.

if i didn't have music, i think i would die.

posted by renee 10:34 AM

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

i am not used to trying my very hardest and still not being good enough
probably because my life up until now has been mostly spent in the false environment of education where even my not-best usually got me what i was after.

welcome to real life. failure happens in real life. and that's okay.

i just have to get over it, i guess.

p.s. actually quite appreciative of new phone-based relationship with a certain wong in the district of columbia. strange how sometimes being far apart can deepen friendships...

p.p.s. didn't get the job. and i care even though i probably wouldn't have taken it.

p.p.p.s. the more you love people, the harder it is, sometimes.

p.p.p.p.s. so, that whole being friends with michael j corner again thing totally petered out before it even had a chance to get going.


posted by renee 1:51 PM

Thursday, October 19, 2006

there is a stack
in the back of my mind
of days
add up to very little
each is nearly weightless
in content
in contrast
the others are
spread out one next to the other
in order
of scaletipping potential
and i count them and recount them
on weightless days
in weightless hours
and feel

posted by renee 10:54 AM

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

good day good day good day good day
15 minutes late to plug extraordinarily expensive meter and a $25 ticket finds itself tucked under my windshield?

are you serious? don't cops have anything better to do than sit there and wait while my meter expires? i was in the middle of going out of my way to help a coworker, for crying out loud.

so, on the memo line of the check i wrote them i put:

"for crying out loud."

i hope that makes someone's day.

posted by renee 3:44 PM

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

and when the older kitty
--the fatter one
---the angrier one
when she jumps up on your lap
and gives your nose
a little lick and
a little bite

well, then you know

she really loves you

and you must deserve it

p.s. i have a job interview tomorrow??!? except that: if i were to leave my current job right now, it would only serve to highten the insult dealt to me by the general lack of substantial appreciation and support of management because they probably wouldn't really care...

posted by renee 9:50 PM

Sunday, October 15, 2006

tonight i went to a fashion show between downtown and uptown at a salon filled with small wood framed collage/graphite/colored pencil/acrylic paint items for sale mounted on the walls, cheap wine, and patrons that were difficult to distinguish from the models.

and i, unsurprisingly, felt unfashionable.

as i was walking back to my car, a young man pulled over next to me and rolled down his window to tell me that he thought i was beautiful with a lot of "really's" in front if it.

to him: sorry i was a little overly caustic at first. and thanks. i needed that.

to me: keep that smile on your face, girl. hold on to it and pull it back out when you're down on yourself. we can't all be fashionistas. and: not everyone's going to love you, no matter what you do. but every once in awhile, to be appreciated by a stranger for the confident way you walk in those high heeled boots, well, it'll tide you over, and you'll be just fine.

posted by renee 10:51 PM

Friday, October 13, 2006

the human soul is by nature erratic and inventive.
the human body is by nature methodical and fond of pattern.
this contrast is what makes free jazz and life so interesting.

also: i was going to make a mix cd in an attempt to define myself in 2006. but really, you could just buy "soviet kitsch" by regina spektor and it would pretty much cover it. i might still try... i have two and a half months of bitter winter left to huddle over my ipod in a blanket cave.

lastly: it's interesting how we can feel insecure about different things depending on the social environment we find ourselves in at any given moment. last night i felt distinctly as though i am stifling my erratic and inventive self in favor of following a set of imposed external rules....

usually i feel quite the opposite - that i am failing at conforming to the degree that is generally required.

but: i somehow survived childhood, adolescence and young adulthood with a properly functioning heart.

a heart that loves regina spektor.

who i don't get to see in concert because it's SOLD OUT...


posted by renee 9:39 AM

Wednesday, October 11, 2006


reporter: you had previously said that a nuclear north korea would not be tolerated. given the recent developments, what will your next step be?

Pres GWB: you have a very nice suit. in fact, i think it's the best suit in here.

posted by renee 10:36 AM

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

even though i know how it turns out in season three, i keep watching episodes of the office from season two hoping and hoping that jim and pam will finally get things figured out...

cause if there's no hope for them, well, then there's no hope for any of the rest of us, is there?!

today, a conversation:

me: ...in the aftermath
dana: ...you mean the beforemath
me: no dana, there has always been math

posted by renee 2:08 PM

Monday, October 09, 2006

today i got to talk to jim schroeder on the phone and see tv on the radio rock first avenue with lyndsey.

huskernaut's doing well.

so am i.

tomorrow? well... that's still in limbo, considering the time.

posted by renee 12:59 AM

Friday, October 06, 2006

there is a woman at work who's married to a man who wakes up before her in the morning to start the shower so it's hot when she gets in and puts toothpaste on her toothbrush and sets it by the sink.

this morning she called him from work and asked him to bring her coffee (we are about 3 steps from 7 different coffee shops in the skyway).

he brought her coffee and a box of doughnuts.

i ate one.

they are very happy together.


yesterday my spirits were lifted by a diverse group of people in a room full of hope communicating to each other about what's important to them in life and their experiences regarding the topic of race. hope is this: the combination of desire and belief. then i called tom and he proceeded to "puke in the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow."

pessimists suck.


shakira is just so sexy i can hardly stand it.

posted by renee 9:06 AM

Wednesday, October 04, 2006

dear paul weyrich,

they keep playing that quote over and over on the radio. congratulations on sounding completely ignorant. you are the reason i call myself a "liberal" without the caveats i used to give for that. if "conservative" is what you represent, consider me running to the left and not looking back, even to glare at you.



posted by renee 5:28 PM

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

the office season 2 on dvd pretty much makes everything better. there is a monologue i would transcribe here, but i'd have to watch it again to get it perfect and it's late. steve carell is a genius.

the mpr banner this morning said "Rice appeals for an end to violence in Palestine."

apparently the reason they're all still fighting over there is just because no one has asked nicely enough for them to cut it out.

some days suck. that's just how it is.

posted by renee 10:38 PM

Monday, October 02, 2006

the more opinionated you are, the more criticism you invite.


some choose to veil most opinions in order to avoid confrontation. this is not necessarily because they are "nice."

some feel like martyrs for their cause, when really they should just keep their mouths closed more often.

and the best way to earn respect is to be willing to change your mind in the face of evidence.

ALSO (therefore?): i think i might be convinced that CEOs earning 262 times the amount of the average worker (compared to about half that difference two decades ago) might not be as skewed as it sounds.

posted by renee 10:20 AM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!