emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Friday, November 30, 2007

i have listened to pieces of the new rilo kiley album before. now i am attempting to get through the whole thing.

but it is worth a whole post to just say that the fact that this album is:

a.) the way it is


b.) by rilo kiley

pisses me off.

i have no desire to futher justify that position. i think i might turn it off, because the longer i listen, the more pissed off i get.

it's a good thing i didn't have to actually review this album, because that would be all i care to say.

posted by renee 2:52 PM

it's not a matter of thinking
only a matter of time

my typing fingers, sometimes, are connected to no brain whatsoever

posted by renee 12:23 AM

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

i am afraid that existence does exist
and so do i, and my mind
but that all these things i see
pieces that i can't force to fit together
really don't match up at all
this gathering of perspectives
facts and feelings
is not moving me toward filling in the missing spaces
but rather
adding more bumps than there are grooves
expanding the edge pieces to too great an area
a fifth right angle corner

it makes the universe seem unstable

but today, walking through the chemistry building
i thanked God for all the things that are of Him
which people are moved to study
and even if they aren't all moved to worship the source
by their discoveries, their search for explanations

i am moved by it

and we are all trying so hard, all the time
to be something that makes sense
mostly, though, just to be something

so hold your brother up
we're all the same
except in how much we know it

posted by renee 1:06 PM

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

it is interesting how many completely wacko people run for public office.

seriously. this is democracy.

also: i began a new knitting project due to the class i have to sit through for the next two and a half hours. there comes a point in one's education where professors are no longer forgiven for a terrible class just because they have good intentions. thus, no new knowledge will be obtained, but new mittins will, which is at least as valuable.

i think i might also go get a sandwich as the dinner i brought was apparently insufficient.


posted by renee 5:49 PM

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

At that place
Where minutes mattered
And the volume of the radio
They researched colors of paint
Ergonomics of chairs
Installed indirect lighting
To increase productivity

I thought a lot
About what matters to me
When I left that place
At exactly 5:30 in the afternoon
Or later, at time-and-a-half

I tried to widen
Open my eyes
Increase from the smallness
Of my self in a cubicle

To be the size of a human being again

Now, in my new life
I am too big
Protons and electrons barely holding
Ideas threatening the tenuous boundaries
Of my already dangerous expansion

The practice of desiring
Of seeking meaning and importance
Developed over the period of my reduction

Becomes a threat
Unreined it pulls me into perilous orbit
Around a hundred things

Now I am faced with the responsibility
Of choosing
From the great pool of what matters to me

What is important

Which is a much more difficult question
And leads to a whole lot of not deciding
It’s getting to be time, soon now
To shrink back down

To be the size of a human being again

p.s. they are playing the soundtrack from the life acquatic at the purple onion. i just realized how these songs all go together. awesome.

posted by renee 3:21 PM

Monday, November 12, 2007

if there were any possible way to fund/justify this, i would be nowhere else on the second weekend of may


plus: more bands than i realize have released albums recently. so, sorry, everyone, but you will not be getting Christmas presents this year.

posted by renee 10:44 PM

after completing an assigned diagram of my most valuable networking assets in my leadership class today i realized two things:

i may never get a job, regardless of whether or not that is the point.

most of my networking efforts are in the arena of minnesotan indie rockers, which procludes the non-profit/political arena in its entirety. however, last night, i got myself hooked up with a project which opens up many new exciting musical doors (think broken social scene, but minneapolisified). i'm far more comfortable advertising myself as a cellist, or whatever, than marketing my job skills to everyone i meet. i'd rather get to be your friend over a microbrew at a dirty bar than over a martini in heels and lipstick. i don't feel like i'm faking it with musicians even though, probably.... well.... no. i am and i know it, but it's the kind of faking i like.

but successful indie rockers are almost never successful in getting "real" jobs or climbing the corporate or political ladder. so what the heck am i doing getting my MPP if that's what i really want? is this always going to feel like the kind of faking it that is uncomfortable? i like learning what i'm learning. i like talking politics with people. i just don't think i can pander. or be consciously strategic in my relationships. i happen to know a lot of really fantastic people that i genuinely care about who are doing interesting things and will likely become great successes. i guess i just have to hope that's enough.

or become a joiner now, and quit all those bands. sigh.

posted by renee 12:28 PM

Saturday, November 10, 2007


a. georgia o'keefe
b. dan olson
c. steve carell
d. stef weinkauf
e. all of the above

i believe the answer is obvious. that was the best day ever.

posted by renee 2:46 AM

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

there is a thin band
between too serious
and not serious enough
which i find tolerable

except: that i am trying to both remove myself from the grit of reality and fully participate in it at the same time. but a meta-life might not be a life at all.

i see a poster advertising a speech: political ideology and judicial behavior in chile and spain. i think, "so what?" because that guy is either a good dad or he isn't. he either enjoys his students' tough questions or responds always pridefully. he either loves his job or hates it.

so i don't want to see the speech, but i wouldn't mind talking to him about the other things.

this is what political scientists don't understand about constituent apathy. and what doctors don't understand about patient noncompliance. and what lawmakers don't understand about political will. and what academics don't understand about the 100 pages of reading they assign each week and don't test you over.

because to normal, everyday people, real life is more important than voting, taking your pill, writing a letter to your senator (even if you DO care!), and burying your nose in peer-reviewed scholarly journals. and what "real life" means to you makes all the difference in the choices you make of when to participate. it's about values.

trying to both have them and understand them might be impossible. it makes the zealous participants seem mindless and the dispassionate observers seem heartless.

i'd like to keep my mind and my heart and some laughter and a side of sarcasm. i'd like to work hard and eat well and love fearlessly. i'd like to understand without turning into a cynic. i'd like to analyze, but still believe.

.....amazing what a couple days of immersing oneself in an economics textbook can do to a person.

posted by renee 1:28 PM

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Conspiracy Theory

Google is a fantastic company. It is making lots and lots of money doing complicated technology related things. It has pretty interfaces and user friendly web applications. Apple is also a fantastic company, also rolling in the digital dough, bringing a new level of sexiness to the computer industry.

However, a good solid third of the applications available through a free google account do not work if you are using Apple's Safari (some of the google groups functions, G-chat, etc). When you try to open something the browser doesn't support you get an error message that assures you that they are working on making the application compatible.

I don't buy it. Not for a second.

If they wanted it to work, it would work by now. I'm not sure whose fault it is, but I'd venture to guess that Mr. William Gates and/or his minions might be sending threatening letters.

And in the interest of hashing out the true potential of any good 200X conspiracy theory, it's probably G-dub's fault in the end, no?

Document THAT, Michael Moore.....

[Edit: Steve Jobs is on the board of Google? The plot thickens......]

posted by renee 9:35 PM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!