emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Thursday, March 29, 2007

it is terribly disturbing how much chatter and excitement have been stirred up in my office over the new coffee maker. it does look like it could double as a rocket, but heart rates are increasing and speculations run amok as to its origin, its possible longevity of ownership or lack thereof, and the reason for this particular moment's being its informal introduction, nay, DISCOVERY.

just as i finished typing that last sentence, a coworker walked past my door and said "oooh, nice coffee pot. why?"


and before i hit post, "whoa... look at that coffee pot, that's fancy"

we have been government workers far too long. the taxpayers buy us lunch once a year and a new coffee pot once every 10. we are SPOILED. either that or it was purchased by the director's personal money in a silly attempt to reverse this high employee turnover trend.

maybe if we felt listened to and truly appreciated and acknowledged, and maybe if we got at least enough of a raise to keep up with inflation, well, that might help more than a new coffee pot.

"nice coffee pot, where'd that come from?"

or maybe that'll do the trick.

posted by renee 8:14 AM

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

what is your most vivid dream from childhood?

when do you feel most at peace with yourself? does this happen often?

what is your dream job?

on a scale of one to ten, how happy are you with your life today? what would be the first thing you would change to increase that number?

would you like a bite of raspberry chocolate marble cheesecake?

posted by renee 12:07 PM

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

wondering what i might begin to do with all this WRITING i have. i hope that my master's program doesn't squelch my creativity, but rather stimulates it and directs it toward something useful, whether that becomes a part of my career or something i invest in separately. here's to that:


posted by renee 10:44 AM

any man who can read, understand, and appreciate jane austen should have no problem whatsoever reading, understanding and appreciating his wife.

she simply captures something about the feminine spirit that i think is largely missed by women authors and completely by male authors: the importance of the tiny movement, the halfway glance, the specific wording of a particular comment. these things can matter very very much, and woe to the husband who fails to believe it.

but, of course, persuasion is not a prerequisite to marriage, only a lifetime warranty of sorts...

also: as both of us were yawning uncontrollably at 10:15, t ironically asserted that we have become rock stars. but, that new riff... a million bucks, i tell you. and if we can get andy to keep playing the blues guitar, well, watch out minneapolis, here we FINALLY come. (just make sure we'll be done by 10:30 so we can go to sleep)

posted by renee 9:55 AM

Monday, March 26, 2007

anybody know anybody in the cities who can get me a lucrative waitressing job for the weekends once school starts?

i knew a girl in college who was the beer cart girl at the country club in edina. she made $300 every weekend day because the guys on the course knew she wanted to go to medical school. they called her "doc" and gave her $50 bills for one beer.

i would like a job where all i have to do is give someone a beer and then i make $45. i could hand lots of people lots of beers without getting tired or crabby at all with that kind of reward.... i'd even smile....

posted by renee 11:01 AM

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

in an instant
i am transported ten years into the future
and i look at myself
and shake my head
and smile a little
at how i haven't figured out yet
at twenty three
how to keep my mouth shut
or how to keep my mind shut

on the way into work, i encountered a supervisor in the skyway. she laughed at me for reading while i walk. and then asked to see what book it was. cat's cradle. and i told her that vonnegut is my favorite male author. and she said "what does he write about?"

sigh. what does kurt vonnegut write about?

and i said something vague about his being unenamored with the human race while my head clouded with disapproving clucks.

i think i might update my "perfect man" word picture. he must appreciate vonnegut. and i would really like it if sometimes he reads while he's walking.

posted by renee 9:09 AM

Sunday, March 18, 2007

sometimes it's hard to communicate when what is happening is only in my head, and not easily translated (the meaning of life is knocking around in there). it makes me less able to participate in the rest of life while i wait for it all to start to make sense. usually, the answer is that just the right person has to ask just the right question at just the right time.

still waiting.

this week: playing cello for friend jenna's show on thursday night at the dunn bros on grand. come on out!

still no word from brandeis. sending off "no-thank-yous" to u of chicago and seattle.

french numbers make me miss playing table tennis with yiling and her father's leather bag of paddles when we were 18 and much less sure of ourselves. and also we were much more sure of ourselves.

mmmmmmmmmmusic. modest mouse's new disc comes out on tuesday. i'm nearly bursting with anticipation, which is a nice feeling to remember.

posted by renee 10:18 PM

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

maybe i'm just getting old, but i really think there are some concert etiquette faux pas that are getting out of hand. or maybe until now i was too entranced with the experience to notice them.

1. the surface that should be most instrumental in keeping you upright should be the floor, not the bodies of the people around you. dancing is wonderful, but when all you're doing is falling to the left and then allowing them to push you back into the people on your right, chances are, you don't look that cool, and people start to get angry before long and push harder. this is not pleasant for anyone.

2. if it is very hot and there is a lot of dancing, and you are of the height which would put your armpit at the level of the average girl's nose... just keep that in mind when considering how frequently and intensely to pump your fist in the air.

3. the show you just paid $16 to see is happening on stage. please don't spend the entirety of it backwards, dancing around with an attempt at a sexy look on your face. nobody came to see YOU and if you didn't come to see anybody, you should just stay home next time.

4. when the music is good, sometimes you can't help but do a little jumping up and down. this is great, but be careful if you have pointy heels on. this error is egregious when combined with (1).

5. i'm sorry. i know it's not your fault that you're tall. but you simply cannot inoffensively push your way to the front, or even to the middle of the crowd after it's formed if you are over 6'4". you will leave a wake of cursing behind you and should consider the danger of the jumping girl in pointy heels when provoked. you may come early and stand wherever you want as the crowd forms around you, or you must stay in the back. try walking around on your knees for a day if you have a hard time remembering this rule.

6. if you hate the band, i don't understand why you came.

hmm... the night started out stressful because the intersection of 5th and 3rd is an absolute construction nightmare... i think they made it impossible to get to the cheap lot from every direction. so i parked in a ramp and then wandered around in the maze of the nighttime skyway until i feared my bones would rot undiscovered in some hidden corner until archeologists dug me out 400 years from now. it seemed there was no way out ANYWHERE, so when i finally backtracked and found a door that put me out on the street about 1 block from where i started, i just took it and made my way back to the venue on land. frightening.

but really, it was the faint as usual. some really nice guys who rock really hard. they make the kids stomp. i just wish the kids wouldn't stomp so hard on my poor feet...

posted by renee 8:46 AM

Monday, March 12, 2007


"There is an environmentalism that is rooted in historical faith—that indeed is modeled on the life of an historical human being who modeled both feasting and fasting, abundance that offended the ascetic and simplicity that challenged the affluent. This environmentalism is agnostic about our market economies, recognizing that on past form they are likely to foster innovation, relieve poverty, and solve many of our worst problems, while not expecting them to deliver us a life without suffering and sacrifice, nor granting them impunity from their consequences for our descendants. This environmentalism affirms the dignity, uniqueness, and accountability of humanity and thus can motivate serious stewardship without the circularity and contortions of ecotheology's self-defeating pantheism."

Andy Crouch

(Thanks, Adam)

posted by renee 3:29 PM

on the extension of daylight savings:

sunday morning saw the earliest 9:30 am in history. it looked distinctly like 8:30 as i tracked across the kansas turnpike.
but how can one argue with an arbitrary change to an arbitrary system of tracking the passage of time?
let the candy-hocking lobbyists, the bureaucratic anti-scientists, the sleep-all-night antagonists, the energy protectionists...

let them win. wake up earlier because they say you must.

if i was in charge, i might suggest that we change the rules and make it 2:30 in the afternoon all the time.

also: read sam's blog about snakes on a plane. it almost made me pee my pants.

posted by renee 1:23 PM

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

cost of tuition at the university of chicago(6 quarters)


amount they are offering me in scholarships to meet that total


cost of in-state tuition at the university of minnesota (4 semesters)


amount they are offering me in scholarships to meet that total

$21,452 + $9,426 in guaranteed living expense earnings for my first year

so far it seems my option is to go $100,000 in debt or live in extreme poverty for two years but come out free and clear. two more schools to go....

posted by renee 11:36 AM

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

yesterday on my bus ride home, i was listening to the decemberists in my headphones... and so it was turned up pretty loud, and maybe i was kind of rocking out a little bit even though i know no one else on the bus could hear the music...

but that's no reason for some thug to mock me as he's walking back to find a seat in front of the whole bus when i have my eyes closed for a couple of seconds.

that's just mean.

i guess i'm a dork.

p.s. i may be having a new tie these hands phase... weird.

posted by renee 11:48 AM

Monday, March 05, 2007


let's just say that brandeis, seattle and the university of chicago are going to have to offer me a LOT of money to get me to move at this point :-) :-) :-) :-)

posted by renee 11:27 AM

Thursday, March 01, 2007

what will nyc ban next?


roller skating in bike lanes
incomplete sentences
unfashionable shoes
blonde jokes

posted by renee 11:10 AM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!