emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Okay, so that thing I said before about nutcases running for office, well I was talking about people who have ridiculous political ideas and absurd campaign literature.

I had not heard of this guy

The best thing is that in the election after this happened, he STILL got 1,151 people to vote for him! With his tiny funny house and yard full of signs... check it out on Google Maps - it's on the NW corner of St Anthony and Dale in Saint Paul, MN. Click on street view (SOOOO COOL)


posted by renee 2:19 PM

Monday, December 10, 2007

hmm. so yesterday's project got done.

but today's, a bigger problem, is turning into the sort of paper where i spend most of my time switching back and forth from single to double spacing, updating my word count, and scrolling down to see how close i am to the bottom of the page.

disappointing, considering how much i care about the topic and intended initially to write something brilliant.

possibly related: facebook is a black hole. the window opened and a half hour disappeared without me actually doing anything at all, i swear. but enough. back to it.

posted by renee 9:56 PM

Sunday, December 09, 2007

hello writer's block.
adrenaline hasn't kicked in yet and caffeine isn't working.
thus: twiddling my thumbs in the coffee shop and wishing this paper would write itself.

thinking about group dynamics rather than doing more procrastinative work on group paper:
there is a widespread belief that bosses don't actually do any work. i wonder what the reason for that belief is and if it is actually rooted more in the nature of bosses or in the nature of human beings, i.e. excessive need for structure and or validation causing employees to be unhappy and therefore critical.

either way, it does seem that some people who are executive directors of things have no ability whatsoever to execute, well, pretty much anything at all.

thinking about my own self rather than doing anything even remotely productive
i've been feeling dull lately. i can't think of anything funny or relevant. my increased level of seclusion is probably the culprit. to be good at talking, you must practice. instead, i feel like i'm in the car or on the bus or plugged into a computer all day. or maybe graduate school is making me dumber.

sigh. back to typing, hopefully about something that makes sense.

posted by renee 6:34 PM

Friday, December 07, 2007

mmmmmmmjose gonzales.
has a way of moving me
moving me forward
i think i might be learning something about simplicity
that you can pick a chord
and play it over and over and over
and as long as you mean it, with a little more intensity each time
your listener will come with you
into the comfort of pattern and predictability
letting you sit in one place for awhile
not ashamed or apologizing for anything at all
but reminding yourself over and over what emotions are like
unrelenting, deep and full of power

and today on the bus, there is a middle aged transvestite talking to herself. everyone looks away, uncomfortable, stealing glances out of curiosity but with caution because to meet her eye is to invite her monologue to aim at you. one poor guy doesn't realize in time and gets locked in. his face says everything. human good will. the desire to engage with this confused person out of compassion. the need to not offend her, or reveal discomfort to the other passengers. but also pity. the deep realization of how disconnected her brain is from reality and how hard her life must be. how no one understands. how everywhere she goes people laugh and say "that's a man!" how she just can't bring herself to take her meds. how she's balanced on the edge of homelessness most of the time. how the disability check doesn't go very far. or maybe, and maybe worse, how she doesn't even know how bad it is. there is something else in his eyes, too, as he smiles and nods at her nonsense sentences, even asks her questions. repulsion. he does not want to be the person she picked to talk to. he wants out. he uses the normal social cues - nodding and then pointedly turning the other way to look out the front window. but she doesn't know those rules, and deep down he knows his only escape is to get off the bus a few stops earlier than he needs to.

i couldn't think of the name for that complex feeling: combined pity, fear, revulsion, compassion, sadness and love. but i recognized it in his face and was glad i wasn't the person in his seat today but despised myself for thinking so.

there is so so so much room to give
there is so so so much room to grow

posted by renee 7:47 PM

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

favorite new plank:

spending any state revenue surplus on time travel technology.

all the cool people would vote for me.

posted by renee 2:07 PM

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

this is the day of the year
when it's 23 degrees and snowing
enormous, fluffy, lazy flakes
and the city looks like the ceramic village
on your grandmother's bookcase
at christmastime
lakes like tiny mirrors
surrounded by a perfect blanket of white

when minnesotans are not masochistic
all this survival of an uninhabitable climate
is worth it
when you see the barely suppressed glee
on all the faces looking
out bus windows
from under furry coat hoods
past the lecturer or computer screen
out at the snowglobe place
where we live on december fourth

[today i love this place and all the other people who are here and feel the same]

posted by renee 1:40 PM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!