emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Thursday, September 30, 2004


tonight i was quite preachy. i can't help it. imagine that... hundreds of people in my life, half of them wandering aimlessly about trying to figure things out and with so many unanswered questions and I KNOW THE ANSWER! it's really so easy...

my roommate is on the phone and just said "i can hit a deer at a thousand yards and not try." wow. guns are scary.

i'm going to go watch the debates with a large group of people who disagree with me. should be fun.

posted by renee 11:06 PM

it's good to feel good about being happy. it's good even to feel good about being unhappy. it's good to ask fewer questions. it's good to dress up for class even if it makes you late. it's good to have clean windows. it's good to live in the moment. it's good to be busy. it's good to eat a star crunch if you're hungry for one. it's good to leave work early.

so, i guess that means i'm good

: )

posted by renee 6:33 PM

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

i so want to be jenny lewis when i grow up. i love concerts. now it's overhead was good. tilly and the wall were wretched as expected. but fun times were had by three sokol loyalists and a sad boy from small town wisconsin. and seriously. jenny lewis is the cutest thing ever. it helps when she's sober...

And she sang

I'm only a woman of flesh and bone
And I wept much, we all do
I thought I might die alone

But I have never never never
Never never never never never never
Never never met you
So baby be good to me

I got nothing to give you, you see
Except everything everything
Everything everything

...and i agreed

posted by renee 2:54 PM

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

it was an italy sort of day. i've been having a bit of a relapse. i feel the cold tile on my feet in my bathroom here and remember dreading stepping out of bed in the morning and wishing i had slippers. sometimes i find myself searching for my favorite mug so i can make a cup of hot chocolate. and then i realize that my mug is back in my apartment in those retro cupboards i'll never be allowed to open again. and then i remember how my roommates always burned milk when they tried to heat it up on the stove. and then i remember watching fawlty towers with olga and how she smelled belarussian and had a million cures for a million ailments, boiled eggs and garlic in your ears... and then i was biking today and a scent wafted by that for a second made me forget what country i was in. i think i need to go back soon, it's starting to hurt.

posted by renee 1:05 AM

Saturday, September 25, 2004

last night was great. i love planning events that just make themselves happen. i say "everyone come to our house tomorrow night. bring something to grill and something to share." and they do. i love that someone starts the grills, someone buys paper plates, mike makes brownies and brings his cousin, and shelli from nebraska shows up. and i got to just mingle and celebrate my friends. had a couple of great conversations with people i haven't gotten to sit down with in months. it's so different than real parties. you can just see how much people love each other. people aren't mean, no one has to get drunk to have fun, and no one regrets anything in the morning. it's beautiful. and i wonder what the neighbors think when the entire street is filled with cars, but it's quiet, because we're all laughing and talking and listening to each other, and there's not a stereo or television on anywhere in the house. and even though i was not feeling social, i had fun, felt loved, and went to sleep glad.

posted by renee 5:02 PM

Friday, September 24, 2004

sometimes when i'm supposed to be hosting a party, i sneak upstairs and check my email. usually, there's nothing exciting anyway. so then i sit in the dark and think about how much i like the sound of blowing air across the lip of a nearly empty glass bottle. in fact, i think i might adopt the glass bottle as my new instrument. hmm. it's just so lovely and hollow sounding. and either you get exactly the right angle and the perfect note or you miss it and it makes no sound. it's never out of tune. mmm... i don't feel too social.

posted by renee 7:35 PM

Thursday, September 23, 2004

it's like i woke up one morning and suddenly i'm responsible. i don't know why. i've never been responsible before in my life. i keep being on time for things. i had a meeting this morning with my service learning organization and the facilitator commented that she didn't have things as figured out as me when she was my age. i have things figured out??? i was the first person in my theory class to post my paper online. it was finished at 2 this morning, a full 30 hours before it was actually due. i can't remember EVER finishing and turning in a paper that far ahead of time. and i keep doing that meticulous picking up after myself thing. and doing laundry before i'm out of socks and the bag is overflowing. frankly, i'm creeping myself out. but it's kind of fun... not living in a constant state of panic. making my BED??!?!?!

i went and grew up.

posted by renee 5:36 PM

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

i think i am finally my age again. i was seventeen for a long time. and now, here i am, twenty-one and feeling like it. comfortable in my own skin. i'm becoming who i want my kids to be someday. and dang it, i'm happy with how i turned out.

so i'm going to stop blogging to work some more on a paper that's not due until friday morning. turning over a new leaf, indeed.

posted by renee 7:58 PM

Thursday, September 16, 2004

actually, that just got me to thinking. the best way possible to promote that movie would be to send jon heder in full glory to a bunch of college campuses across the country and just have him sit in the library or go to some big lecture classes or wander around the student union.

what if napoleon dynamite was sitting in front of you in bio? what if?

posted by renee 5:16 PM

today i saw a tall, lanky boy with big headphones and unfortunate hair walking across campus with a white tee-shirt that said "vote for pedro" on it in red letters.


posted by renee 5:14 PM

i like sad boys, sleepy boys, and sick boys the best.

posted by renee 10:04 AM

Thursday, September 09, 2004

can i be a Christian and a liberal?
it seems like most people don't think so
but it's the only thing that makes sense to me
several social movement organizers spoke to my class today
i strongly agreed with all but two, with which i strongly disagreed
but it seems like they come in a set
abortion=affordable housing?

i think not

don't get angry for not following party lines
i reserve the right to be an individual

posted by renee 4:05 PM

Wednesday, September 08, 2004

come to dinner with me
we'll walk down the main street all dressed up
we'll make time for coffee
i know the caffine makes you sad
but just this once would you do that for me?

cause up in heaven, you're a sho'in if you open up your heart to me
to me

let's go driving tonight
we'll take al's comet, he'll never know
we'll top it out at 95
i know my driving makes you mad
but just once, would you do that for me?

cause up in heaven, you're a sho'in if you open up your heart to me
to me



posted by renee 6:40 PM

Tuesday, September 07, 2004

this morning i had to force myself to take a shower and wear jeans instead of sweatpants to my first day of classes. funny i used to care about such things. i think they call this senioritis.

i also think this semester will be one of plentiful blogging, considering that i come to my boring job and stare at a computer screen directly after having my mind stimulated all day. i like having my mind stimulated. i guess that makes me a nerd.

also, my throat is clogged with free chipotle, but it didn't come with a drink, thus i have nothing to wash it down with. tragic.

posted by renee 6:32 PM

Monday, September 06, 2004

i like to lose myself in british social commentary via the streets.

music is an amazing invention. there's so little logic in how it affects us. but our bodies react to the beat. emotions spring up higher when reinforced with an apt rhyme and a moving melody. our minds can focus in and our other senses line up ignored behind our hearing.

i think we should say "queued up" more often.

and i don't know what skinner means when he says "geezer"

posted by renee 1:02 PM

Sunday, September 05, 2004

"we first met through a shared view; she loved me and i did too."
-mike skinner

my skin, for once, looks healthy under florescent light
i think that should scare me
and i feel abstract
and i feel invincible
it's been too long since i've sat at a piano
and waxed poetic
or taken a pencil in the afternoon
and waited for inspiration
but i feel so full
and i ask no questions

posted by renee 6:36 PM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!