emancipated dissonance from the desk of renee ann

emancipated dissonance

Monday, April 30, 2007

the wonder of wordspill
one mouth to two ears
and neurons firing
mirrored across two brains
or clashing, but explained
make hours matter much
but sharpen their shortness
and then
they end
so ocean and time zones
regain significance
and my friend
is gone

posted by renee 1:00 PM

Friday, April 27, 2007

ok, so i changed my mind

somebody talk me out of it quick...

posted by renee 10:33 PM

spring has brought with it a lingering strain of rabid consumerism
i am not doing much to try to shake it

so, instead of a
writer of books
i shall be a
rider of bikes (motorized)
strummer of basses (electrified)
tickler of ivory (still fake, but closer)
typer of unparalleled style (totally unneccessary)

bumble bumble bumble

if today wasn't friday, i'd be tempted to quit my job three months early. BOO on things going wrong. BOO.

posted by renee 11:11 AM

Thursday, April 26, 2007


i don't even know where to start. if you are going to subject someone to the kind of complete social alienation and potential for harm that this bill would, you must not actually believe that they've completed their penance, in which case, please just keep them in jail.

it's like felon disenfranchisement in florida except in a state where there are lots of hicks with guns and a long winter to sit in their snow-encased cabins and brood through. vigilante justice, here we come.

posted by renee 3:43 PM

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

i pray
in order to avoid
specific disappointment
when the answer is no

i should have more faith
than that
by now

posted by renee 9:06 AM

Friday, April 20, 2007

at the memorial service for the virginia tech shootings, one speaker said "this is a national tragedy. it's a GLOBAL tragedy."

but i think, at similar services after equal numbers of people die in baghdad while shopping for vegetables, no iraqi is so bold as to proclaim it a global tragedy. yes, as a nation, we mourn. but the global tragedy is that human beings care so little for anyone different than them.

sometimes it seems quite bizarre how important it is.
think euphemism: companion, domestic partner.
think title: spouse, common law marriage.

so we decide that two people of the same gender can share health insurance benefits if they call themselves domestic partners, which implies they are sleeping together... and two people are in a common law marriage if they live in the same house for long enough and are assumed to be sleeping together.

but i can't share health insurance with my roommate of 4 years unless we claimed to be domestic partners, which would imply that we were sleeping together, but which no one would explicitly ask and certainly no one would attempt to prove or disprove.

then there's the case of the 40 something year old woman who was "just friends" with a 60 something year old man and thought they should be able to get a 2-bedroom apartment through the section 8 program. so the question we really wanted to ask them when making that decision was "are you or have you ever had sex with each other." except that we couldn't ask that, exactly.

and then there are all those married couples who are share an address and health insurance, but not a bed.

so the moral of the story is: if you live in the same house and it is assumed that you have sex or used to have sex, you count as something. strange, eh?

still every time they say "gates," i think of "bill" first. i wonder how long that will last.

posted by renee 9:45 AM

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Quotes of the Day

"i don't know" - alberto gonzales
"i don't recall" - alberto gonzales
"i don't know" - alberto gonzales
"i don't recall" - alberto gonzales
"i don't know" - alberto gonzales
"i don't recall" - alberto gonzales
"i don't know" - alberto gonzales
"i don't recall" - alberto gonzales
"i don't know" - alberto gonzales
"i don't recall" - alberto gonzales
"i don't know" - alberto gonzales
"i don't recall" - alberto gonzales
"i don't know" - alberto gonzales
"i don't recall" - alberto gonzales
"i don't know" - alberto gonzales
"i don't recall" - alberto gonzales
"i don't know" - alberto gonzales
"i don't recall" - alberto gonzales

posted by renee 3:36 PM

the main problem with being a people pleaser is that sometimes, people aren't pleased.

this is one of those times.

posted by renee 9:06 AM

Sunday, April 15, 2007

was awakened by cat-on-face at 6:30 am
made coffee quietly, so as not to disturb guests on the futon
read over old emails
half intending to clean out my inbox before school starts again
half intending to take some time to remember

and all these old conversations
questions for which the years have provided answers

they build me up
for all the love i've given
and all i've received

i am confident that my life has already counted for much
and been blessed

perhaps now there is a stirring upstairs and i will make eggs

posted by renee 9:38 AM

Thursday, April 12, 2007


the nickleback remix by peter carlson

if no one pointed it out, you might even miss that this is two songs at the same time.... i guess if you have a good thing going, why change it?

posted by renee 11:48 AM

all this talk of authors and authoring recently and then yesterday, kurt vonnegut died.

at least i've been offering some sort of appropriately timed tribute. i'm a good fan.

but honestly, i almost felt like crying when i read that, which was unexpected.

posted by renee 9:18 AM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

OH! i almost forgot:

apparently they have been researching the potential of using stem cells to do tissue regeneration. this technology would be specifically applied to injured athletes.

so they are urging new parents who see exceptional athletic promise in their infant to save his umbilical cord. this could be used when the child tears his knee ligaments during a blossoming professional football career twenty five years later.............


"no, junior, you can't quit football. i haven't had this umbilical cord in the freezer for the past 17 years for you to give up now! keep at it! you're expected to do great things and have terrible injuries! we won't settle for less!"

or something.............

posted by renee 1:55 PM

brace yourself, this is bound to be a long one.

the republicans are making it snow on april 11 to try to disprove global warming.

they time the busses so that i will watch the one i want to ride pull away right as i'm running up to the stop every day. they do this on purpose to spite me.

i would like to hear a man, once, convincingly offer the half-apology "i am sorry that you were hurt by what i did" even though he thinks he did nothing wrong. guilt is frequently irrelevant.

Mark Mallman - Between the Devil and Middle C
Low - Drums and Guns
Youth Group - Casino Twilight Dogs
Now It's Overhead - Dark Light Daybreak
Rosie Thomas - All These Friends of Mine
The Decemberists - Castaways and Cutouts
Kings of Leon - Because of the Times
Bright Eyes - Cassadaga

great novels are often unabashed alters to the human emotional experience. it feels nice to validate your audience's sense of depth and importance and simultaneously your own, but ultimately this process may be mostly indulgent and unhelpful. lots of words in that sentence started with vowels, and it bothers me to read it over again.

regardless, it's time to decide how much i really want to be a writer when(if) i grow up. who am i kidding? i have plenty of time to make more rash promises to my future self. the-eternal-moment-something-something.

i step back from my life and put periods of time in separate boxes so that i rarely have to make real change because there is always a significant shift in my daily experience on the horizon. i just put the inadequacy in the next box with hope that the upheaval in my schedule will make it easier to overcome. in general, this does not turn out to be the case.

i am assuredly as indulgent by nature as the authors i find myself drawn to most intensely. with enough time and encouragement, i could easily become as arrogant.

for the sake of my character, some career less like having oneself looked at and admired all day might be advisable.


posted by renee 10:33 AM

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

there is a distinct possibility that samuel l. jackson is losing his mind.

"barb erickson" - HA! say it out loud....

yesterday someone told me i was complicated. i wonder if that's good.

so, i'm going to the u of m, i guess. lots of white people go to school there. that's really my only complaint. plus, in case you didn't know, the roads are icy today, which is a day in the month of april, which seems unfair.

and i'm sorry if you've called me and left me a message recently. yesterday i returned 106 phone messages at work. a summer in the inspections department = indefinite distaste for simultaneous speaker in my ear and a microphone by my mouth. separately, however, is fine.

also about grad school: i somehow along the way learned to schmooze... this is called "networking."

if a boy could understand when i have my Bible and The Moor's Last Sigh and Jasmine Tea and a Chocolate Chip Cookie in front of me at a hippie coffee shop, i would marry him immediately.

posted by renee 8:39 AM


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my band(mates)
thomas built the wall
casey on the drums

other friends
joa jean
nate t
nate b
the MAN i hate
my ex-neighbor

some i wish were my friends

music i listen to
band of horses
zoe keating
rilo kiley
(jenny lewis)
mr 1986
regina spektor
iron & wine
the new pornographers
radio on
the combo
emiliana torrini
sigur ros
nickel creek
trampled by turtles
the hold steady
the decemberists
del the funky homosapien
death cab
tv on the radio

the guys that review it
jason (in a kilt)
peter c

and the places to hear it
the fine line
varsity theater
the 400 bar
first avenue

found magazine
my pottery teacher
my favorite designer
aesthetic apparatus
the friendly stegosaurus

railroad illusions
we'll go sit on a coal car
bask in the soft light
and dream of a someday
simpler than this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from fluorescent lights

we'll go lay on a rooftop
breathe in the sweet smoke
and talk of a place that’s
so far from this one

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from conditioned air

we'll get lost under covers
smile at our trite words
and fall for a vision
so far from the truth

take a walk with me tonight, my dear
away from complications
away from the flightless facts

LEMUR is the answer!!