Okay, so that thing I said before about nutcases running for office, well I was talking about people who have ridiculous political ideas and absurd campaign literature.
The best thing is that in the election after this happened, he STILL got 1,151 people to vote for him! With his tiny funny house and yard full of signs... check it out on Google Maps - it's on the NW corner of St Anthony and Dale in Saint Paul, MN. Click on street view (SOOOO COOL)
but today's, a bigger problem, is turning into the sort of paper where i spend most of my time switching back and forth from single to double spacing, updating my word count, and scrolling down to see how close i am to the bottom of the page.
disappointing, considering how much i care about the topic and intended initially to write something brilliant.
possibly related: facebook is a black hole. the window opened and a half hour disappeared without me actually doing anything at all, i swear. but enough. back to it.
posted by renee 9:56 PM
Sunday, December 09, 2007
hello writer's block. adrenaline hasn't kicked in yet and caffeine isn't working. thus: twiddling my thumbs in the coffee shop and wishing this paper would write itself.
thinking about group dynamics rather than doing more procrastinative work on group paper: there is a widespread belief that bosses don't actually do any work. i wonder what the reason for that belief is and if it is actually rooted more in the nature of bosses or in the nature of human beings, i.e. excessive need for structure and or validation causing employees to be unhappy and therefore critical.
either way, it does seem that some people who are executive directors of things have no ability whatsoever to execute, well, pretty much anything at all.
thinking about my own self rather than doing anything even remotely productive i've been feeling dull lately. i can't think of anything funny or relevant. my increased level of seclusion is probably the culprit. to be good at talking, you must practice. instead, i feel like i'm in the car or on the bus or plugged into a computer all day. or maybe graduate school is making me dumber.
sigh. back to typing, hopefully about something that makes sense.
posted by renee 6:34 PM
Friday, December 07, 2007
mmmmmmmjose gonzales. has a way of moving me moving me forward i think i might be learning something about simplicity that you can pick a chord and play it over and over and over and as long as you mean it, with a little more intensity each time your listener will come with you into the comfort of pattern and predictability letting you sit in one place for awhile not ashamed or apologizing for anything at all but reminding yourself over and over what emotions are like unrelenting, deep and full of power
and today on the bus, there is a middle aged transvestite talking to herself. everyone looks away, uncomfortable, stealing glances out of curiosity but with caution because to meet her eye is to invite her monologue to aim at you. one poor guy doesn't realize in time and gets locked in. his face says everything. human good will. the desire to engage with this confused person out of compassion. the need to not offend her, or reveal discomfort to the other passengers. but also pity. the deep realization of how disconnected her brain is from reality and how hard her life must be. how no one understands. how everywhere she goes people laugh and say "that's a man!" how she just can't bring herself to take her meds. how she's balanced on the edge of homelessness most of the time. how the disability check doesn't go very far. or maybe, and maybe worse, how she doesn't even know how bad it is. there is something else in his eyes, too, as he smiles and nods at her nonsense sentences, even asks her questions. repulsion. he does not want to be the person she picked to talk to. he wants out. he uses the normal social cues - nodding and then pointedly turning the other way to look out the front window. but she doesn't know those rules, and deep down he knows his only escape is to get off the bus a few stops earlier than he needs to.
i couldn't think of the name for that complex feeling: combined pity, fear, revulsion, compassion, sadness and love. but i recognized it in his face and was glad i wasn't the person in his seat today but despised myself for thinking so.
there is so so so much room to give there is so so so much room to grow
posted by renee 7:47 PM
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
favorite new plank:
spending any state revenue surplus on time travel technology.
all the cool people would vote for me.
posted by renee 2:07 PM
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
this is the day of the year when it's 23 degrees and snowing enormous, fluffy, lazy flakes and the city looks like the ceramic village on your grandmother's bookcase at christmastime lakes like tiny mirrors surrounded by a perfect blanket of white
when minnesotans are not masochistic all this survival of an uninhabitable climate is worth it when you see the barely suppressed glee on all the faces looking out bus windows from under furry coat hoods past the lecturer or computer screen out at the snowglobe place where we live on december fourth
[today i love this place and all the other people who are here and feel the same]
posted by renee 1:40 PM
