i like days at work where i arrive in the morning and there are piles of things to do, and i know how to do them, and when i leave, they're done.
guidance counselors were not that useful in high school. all they did was tell me i should apply for lots of independent scholarships, none of which i won. in college, i mostly figured everything out on my own, and although my "academic advisor" was occasionally helpful, she mostly just interpreted the poorly designed computer printouts of my progress.
NOW is when i need a guidance counselor. in high school, the next step was obviously to go to college. in college, it was very likely that i should try to get a job upon graduating. now i have a job and i have no idea what to do next or how to go about it. there MUST be money somewhere that someone would like to give me to do SOMETHING useful that i would enjoy. but how to find that person or that money or where i'll need to go once i have it i have no clue how to figure out.
i'll have you know that i did not misspell a single word in that post.
posted by renee 8:35 AM
Monday, February 27, 2006
there is a yoga position that some people call "happy baby" and some people call "dead bug"
i am JEALOUS and UNFORGIVING and SELF ABSORBED and occasionally THOUGHTLESS
and it is because i haven't been reading my Bible enough.
posted by renee 10:47 AM
Saturday, February 25, 2006
there are two reasons to marry someone:
1. passion 2. logistics
i believe in the first at the cost of a good chunk of the second sometimes. as i get older, the function of marriage starts to seem to lean more heavily on the logistical compatibility of the two people involved than on the passion.
i am still young enough that i'm a little sad about that.
posted by renee 9:30 PM
Friday, February 24, 2006
in the winter, any skin exposed to the air gets dry. including lips and hands.
therefore, one wears mittins and chapstick.
but, if one has long hair, which is useful in keeping warm, it will, no doubt, get stuck to one's chapstick.
and one will not be able to get it unstuck, because one is wearing mittins.
REASON # 117 why i HATE winter
posted by renee 10:59 AM
Thursday, February 23, 2006
HA! i forgot to post about this but was reminded today when:
a car was waiting to turn left onto a one-way at a red light there was a single car coming toward the green light, going straight the car waiting to turn sat until the car coming straight was virtually in the intersection and then zipped out right in front of him cutting him off
and that reminded me that:
a few weeks ago, an old lady SHOOK HER FIST AT ME when i crossed the street walking even though i had the right of way SHE WAS AN OLD LADY! WITH A HUNCHBACK AND WHITE HAIR! SHE SHOOK HER FIST!
guess you had to be there....
posted by renee 12:50 PM
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
i did it. i bought the ticket.
step one: fly to NYC step two: fly to Lincoln step three: be in wedding step four: buy vehicle step five: drive home
hee hee.... i hope this works...
posted by renee 11:15 AM
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
yesterday i wanted to run away to buy a one way plane ticket to someplace, anyplace, with a coast so i could sit and look out at sunrises over the ocean or sunsets or both, if it was an island
because: it is completely oppressive to have to work 40 hours a week at a specific time of day in a specific location in order to survive i've only been doing it for eight months and frankly, i've had about enough
i need the kind of job that can be done anywhere at the time of day i choose i think that i would be surprisingly productive if given that option
plus: i need something to ground me at all times a specific emotion that i can look at and find rational or look at and not care if it's rational, just really feel it but i don't have any of that right now floating floating floating
AND: i wanted to write a poem about how i like to clean the whole house top to bottom floors, gleaming windows, sparkling countertops, crumbless but i like to leave one dirty cup next to the sink just as proof that someone lives here
but i wanted it to rhyme and didn't have enough patience to figure it out. so i didn't write it at all.
it's cold. nose-hair-cicle cold. walk-out-of-LoTo-and-your-coffee-goes-100-degrees-to-32-in-half-a-second cold. observe-the-amazing-hairless-monkey's-capacity-for-survival cold. (except the energy wasters who drive their heated cars from heated garage to heated garage, probably wearing several items made from material that used to keep animals warm, just for overkill)
AND, on the intellectual horizon, noticing that many of my friends are remarkably upwardly mobile and i am not. i think i'm okay with that. but new cars and condos and international internships are so completely not in my line of vision....
posted by renee 8:33 AM
Thursday, February 16, 2006
eating hummus and pita and drinking coffee plotting to buy a one way plane ticket and a car thinking from a public health perspective, it is ridiculous to refuse to educate kids about STDs and pregnancy if you're pro-life. i'd rather they used condoms than abortion, to be perfectly frank wondering if it'd be crazy to get a tattoo... of the continents?
posted by renee 9:15 AM
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
ALERT! ALERT! ALERT!
No kidding, folks, several hours before he "accidentally" shot a fellow hunter, Vice President Dick Cheney consumed a BEER!
What is this country coming to? Is this a place where our elected leaders, by their example, condone reckless gun use and random acts of drunken violence against friends? Or is it a place that CANNOT THINK OF ANYTHING REMOTELY WORTH WRITING A NEWS ARTICLE ABOUT?!
posted by renee 3:59 PM
Tuesday, February 14, 2006
my perfect valentine's day date would be horseback riding through the country (not a trail ride) and having a picnic by a pond somewhere, preferably in the mountains.
therefore my perfect valentine's day would need to be in june.
posted by renee 4:43 PM
so many disjointed things.... unable to pick just one...
those baby corns that you put in stir fry are related to regular corn, which was grown by the aztecs, not the chinese. if you are single on valentine's day, wear frilly underwear and a pink sweater and heart socks and good smelling something and make a heart shaped pizza. potatoes are native to south america, not ireland. valentine's day is getting to be more like christmas every year - so far i've gotten a phone call, a text message, a single red rose from my drummer, two packages, innumerable chocolates and $5 from my grandma and it's not even 9:00 am on the day of yet. when you think of mexican food, you think of cheese and beans, probably - but cheese started in the east, moved gradually toward the atlantic ocean, becoming a refined art in europe and didn't get to central america until much later. if you're a couple on valentine's day, feel a little silly for celebrating a holiday manufactured by card and flower companies... but then feel better because all those people who own little flower shops rely on valentine's day to make it through the year. in conclusion, the answer to the question "who really invented pizza?" is "who cares?"
posted by renee 8:27 AM
Monday, February 13, 2006
three items
one: there is a tulip on my desk in a pretty green bottle. happy valentine's day. (also: i would like to point out that there is a dove chocolate that says "be your own valentine" on the inside of the foil wrapper and i have gotten that one THREE TIMES)
two: i love the kind of joy that makes you call people to tell them about it when sunday has turned to monday and the average worker has been asleep for half a REM cycle already...
three: it is incredible to me how many property owners are incapable of following simple instructions. in bold type, the letter said "please sign and date both copies of the contract ammendment. keep one copy for your records and return the other to our office by february 17, 2006." it did NOT say "please return both copies," "please rip off the back page of one of the copies and send it back" or "please scribble profanity on both copies, burn them, using the smoke to attempt to communicate with your ancestors and then call our office and berate us for not sending you money."
posted by renee 10:20 AM
Thursday, February 09, 2006
nothing NOTHING would satisfy me now except exactly the right words pouring out to say something SOMETHING but they stay locked inside
what i said before about boring people and how i don't like them... well, that was a lie... kind of because really, no one's boring
sometimes people have an aura of boring (maybe it's on purpose! because they're scared!) but deep deep deep deep deep under it all they have interesting reactions to certain scents
they really loved someone once but never told them they hurt so much they can't tell anyone at all they get great pleasure from being simple and methodical (they put chipotle sauce in their kraft mac & cheese!!)
and no matter who they are, that core is there the place where they feel things and sometimes SOMETIMES all it takes is patience
posted by renee 12:23 PM
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
boys are not all the same and i don't really hate them.
the problem with people in general is that they are selfish and impatient. THEREFORE: bad decisions are made about the environment, the economy, business in general, health in general and myriad other things.
unrelated pres bush on the danish comic incident: "budee budee budee don't be violent folks"
posted by renee 3:54 PM
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
boys are all the same and i hate them.
posted by renee 11:55 PM
there's a guy and he gets married and both he and his wife have no money in the bank, but each owns a duplex. they double mortgage their property as well as taking out business loans in order to start their own business. they work very hard for eight years. then he sells the business for $37 million dollars and they go on a three year long trip around the world.
really? yes. you, too, if you had a good business head and the right idea at the right time, could be independently wealthy in eight years. that sure seems like money growing on trees to me.
posted by renee 4:21 PM
AND, i almost forgot:
i love being a girl, but i HATE that it is still winter. i might throw myself off a bridge soon if i don't get some serious sunlight.
posted by renee 9:46 AM
things to know:
i hate wasting things. paper, small bits of string, food, and time. i strongly believe in making things from scratch, or as close to scratch as you can get, including dresses, bread, bracelets, pizza, dishes, purses, and ipod socks. i strongly believe in striving for purity in most things, which may have something to do with making things from scratch. preservatives are bad. bleached flour is bad. unnaturally decaffeinated coffee is bad. sweatshops are mostly bad. sugar is better than high fructose corn syrup even though the latter has the name of a vegetable in it. in fact, most foods that come straight from the earth are better for you before they're cooked. no, i was not a nutrition minor. i can make no sense of my introvert/extrovert sensibilities. sometimes i am both at the same time.
posted by renee 9:19 AM
Friday, February 03, 2006
sometimes the whole world full of problems comes crashing onto my shoulders at once. the unloved kids. the unwed mothers. the tv watching social security beneficiaries. the repercussions of racism. the self-pitying down-and-outers. the impoverished grandmothers. the three hundred pounders. all the HATE and LACK OF PRIDE and HOPELESSNESS and what the heck am i supposed to do when that happens? reminding myself that my life is okay, that i'm doing fine, only makes it worse. so i listen to mono on the bus, surrounded by examples of all those, and try not to cry. and i come home, curl into a tiny ball on the couch in the dark and wait for it to pass.
posted by renee 8:49 AM
